Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dear Someone thursday

Thursday is: Dear Somebody letter: Brought to you by the family of Shorts

Dear people in the car next to me:

Thank you so much for sharing your music with me and half of Charleston. I know your mother did a great job of teaching you to share because you do it so well.
The car I am in is a bloody truck and you are rocking it off it's wheels.
Now, I don't wish to discourge you, or scare you for that manner, but I did see the man in the car next to me through you a dirty look and say something to a very vicious looking pit bull and stare ominously at you while he was saying it. AND the pitbull growled.

Perhaps in this case you may wish to share less and turn your radio down just a tad, may 10 octaves, I would hate to lose my cool jump out of my car and let the pit bull loose. That would be such a mes to such a sharing person as yourself. thank you

Oh BTW, I know you didn't know this but pink underwear is crass, you should  wear white until labor day. I noticed this when you got out of your car and mooned the mean little old lady next to you who rudely asked you to turn your music down. I don't know what she was thinking! Imagine wanting peace on the city street and you were just sharing all nice and all....

Oh dear, I am sorry my car went out of gear somehow backed up and hit yours and just happened to knock your CD player out of the dashboard. Some things are worth having my insurance raised for..


Dear Neighbor down the street around the corner three streets over:
Please see the above letter to the nice people in the car, I am sure they must be relatives of yours. My truck still runs and I surely can find where you live. I will just follow the rapping noise whats his name snoopy doggie? I love dogs.
Enough said

Dear Natasha age 3 going on 4
Christmas is coming in 41 days, and Walmart is already crowded. I know it is your consititional right to wake me up at 6am yelling Nanny! I need the Barbie dollhouse on Max and Ruby, this tickles me to death, but Nanny needs to explain some things to you.

First at this time of the year, parents, yes this includes grandparents are not allowed to shop for toys of any kind, Santa gets right peeved when we scoop him, so as much as I would like to buy you that 200 dollar!!! before taxes,  doll house Nick Jr. so lovinginly puts on at 6am Santa would be peeved and would leave coal in Nanny's stocking and Nanny really needs a new computer this year, not to mention black pumps to go with the black dress she is buying for new years, , So, no to the doll house.

2nd I am sorry for what is about to happen to max and Ruby, Yo Gabba Gabba and heaven forbid, Diego. See, I think they have to go learn to sleep later in the day so Nanny can get her beauty rest, so Nanny is going to give them all hot chocolate spiked with uh special sugar or either pull the plug of the TV until after Christmas, which ever seems kinder. I think Diego needs a rest from al of those naughty animals that keep getting lost, he is looking tired
How do they keep losing their way in the forest anyway? I mean I know it's a big place and all, but really they get lost 5, count them, 5 times a day on nick jr and countless other times on the other nick stations. Nanny is very concerned Diego is working to hard. We should call DSS I think.

Yo Gabba Gabba well, sweet heart they all sounded hoarse from singing Don't be afraid, and not to mention wiggle wiggle wiggle they need more rest to. So Nanny stole the key to their suitcase,not for long just about 5 years, you should be on to bigger and better things by then. Like Hannah Montana.

Max and ruby, well I am starting a campaign to find their parents. That will be my Christmas present to max so ruby can stop being so mean to him.

So all is well, I will write Santa a nice long chatty letter about all of the wonderful toys you "need" last count was 150 of them, should keep him a tad busy this year
Night Night sweetie
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