Musing while sitting in the school parking lot...

I love spring. The temperature are not too cold and not too hot. There is a breeze off the water you can feel anywhere in the city. Another thing you can see and smell is the marsh. Oh well, it is all a part of Charleston.

With spring comes spring break. I was sitting in my car waiting for Natasha, and idly watching the kids come out from school. Observation is priceless.

I saw one little girl pigtails flying run and hop into her mom’s car, her mom gave her a big hug. I also saw a little boy run to his mom happily calling out

“Hi Mommy!” a very big smile of excitement at seeing her, and his mom in grabbed his arm and hissed at him to get in the car. Dashing his joy instantly. You have to feel sorry for the kid, aslo though I have to remember I don’t know what problems his mom was dealing with at that time.

While spring break is happily anticipated by most kids, some dread it. Some hate the thought of not being at school for ten days. Why? Because school besides learning means food. School lunch and breakfast are the only meals they get. The thought of going through 10 days not knowing where their next meal is coming from is scary. One in 15 children in Charleston County are hungry.

The little munchkin’s class has had lots of theft of food lately. The teacher has not been able to ascertain which child or which children are stealing snacks. It is heartbreaking to know someone in this class steals food to take home.

We don’t know who they are.

Tasha came home from school very upset one day. Her friend at school was not going to be able to purchase her school pictures, her mom couldn't afford them.

“Can we buy them for her? Nanny?” she pleaded.

No problem I told her. I worried about other things, but to the munchkin the thought of her friend not having her pictures was devastating.

I am glad she has a heart. We sometimes forget this in the everyday living stuff.

When she is begging for a toy, and has so many we think “she is being selfish” we forget the day she spent her lunch money to buy a treat for a friend that didn’t have any.

Or all the times she shared her snack with kids who do not or cannot bring any so they will not be hungry.

I worry she does not understand the lack of having simple things…like food, shelter then she turns around and proves she has deep concern for those very things in others. So Spring Break we are going to be doing some things for the hungry kids. I have been a long time member of No Kid Hungry.

We are working at the church and we are praying for the hungry.Besides, of course the usual spring break fracas
What are your plans this week? Please share for those of us flat out of ideas...:)

Happy Monday...

Tasha and The Bullly: Isn't the school bus supposed to be safe?

Tasha got off the bus crying earlier this week, much to our shock and chagrin. It seems some children on the bus were calling  her names, and one child hit her in the head.

Two of  the kids were kindergarten, one was a second grader. A second grader picking on a kindergartner? What in the world???
 Well. I don't know what those kids thought they were doing, but what they actually did was as Yamato  said at the end of the bombing of Pearl Harbor..was" wake up a sleeping giant and filled it with a terrible resolve". The giant in  that case of course was America, in this case was her me.

Don't get me wrong, her mom was pretty upset herself, but her Nanny was livid.  Who should have to worry about having their world rocked at 6 years old.

Denise went to the school and talked to the principal, I spoke to the bus driver and we got Tasha calmed down pretty well. But No Child should have to deal with this. Children are supposed to be safe at school and on the bus, right?

Wrong.

1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.

- 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.

- 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.

- 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.

- 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.

- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

Statistics courtesy of  Make a sound for a voice unheard

The majority of bullied children do not tell their parents or teachers for fer of retribution. 

? 

This proved true with Tasha by the shear fact that the child walked into the principals office and Tasha was so unnerved she burst into tears and became confused. Just like witnesses on TV who are bullied into being quiet for fear of their life. Evil has come to the second grade. 

We can do something though. Bullies shouldn't win. and sometimes they don't. Sometimes a bullied child will be so fed up he will come to school with a gun and everyone loses. Do we think this is a small issue

What can we do?

Teach your child how to defend his or her against bulling Violence begets violence, although it is a good way to win a war it is not the best way to stop bullying. 

• Bullies are cowards. They pick on children smaller then them and more vulnerable. they mostly pick on a child who is a loner, so no one else can see therefore report the altercation. The more people you know, the less chance you will be a target. 
• Tell some one, if you tell one grownup and they don't do anything, tell someone else. Someone will step up to the plate
• If it feels safe, stand up to the bully. Tell them to Stop!, I don't like that, and walk away. ALWAYS tell a grownup. If the bully thinks you won't do anything, the more chances there are of his continued bullying. 

Bullying is not a rite of passage, it is not something where your child has to buck up and handle it. The leading cause of death for children under the age of 14 is suicide, and that death is caused by the loneliness, fear and isolation they felt from someone who was bullying them. 

Have a talk with your child, make sure they are safe. 

resources

School memories Bullies and freedom

When you think of childhood, you want to remember days of playing in the grass, swimming, climbing tress and paying with friends. I remember playing in the street until  10 11 at night during the summer. But my childhood was marred by the worst interruption a person can have. that is being assaulted by bullies.
When I was a child, it wasn't that big of a thing. Your parents told you to suck it up, you tried. the bullying continued until the bully moved on to his next prey.
I could take it.  Well, I could until I was in six grade.

In six grade There was a Chinese girl call Ann Cho pronounced "choo". She came in mid year.  Ann was tiny, skinny and barely spoke English, I don't remember why she was here, perhaps her father or mother taught at Stanford. The majority of the kids in my school had parents who were either professors, or big wigs at Hewlett-Packard the two industries of our town.

My Bully, declared me boring at this point, ,. shook the dust off his feet  and turned on Ann. I pretty much took a backseat, a quick sigh of relief and prayed he would never turn on me again.  I prepared to go on with my life bully free.
And that may well have happened.  But, when you have been the target of a bully, you understand the whole picture. I had spent 4,5 and most of 6th grade being his target. I knew the damage he could do. the hurt and humiliation he could produce, worse then that..the tremendous feeling of helplessness.

My favorite game in sixth grade was tether-ball. I could knock that ball around the pole with one swat of my fists. The force no doubt came from pent up anger, at least that is what you will say these days. But then, I just knew I could hit the ball and felt a lot better after I did it. I played all recess by myself.

The row of tether ball   poles lined the end of the playground and was the last line of defense before the grassy area where such games as stick ball, football and other games that got me laughed and snicked at because I was so clumsy. I viewed that area as enemy terrority.

This day though,  a few feet away I heard The ugly voice of my former bully and felt pangs of memories from my days at his hands.  This was different. I heard " ANNN choo"..making the sound of sneezing..."How does it feel to be a sneeze"  "Ahhh Cho choo choo  Train, that's it she is a train whistle, no she is full of snot because she is a sneeze."....the other kids laughed...."chink ching"

Why do the other kids laugh at his behavior? Simply because they hope or are secretly happy it is not them?

But over the laughing, over the cruel words I heard whimpering, the the distinct sound of quiet crying. For the first time I noticed Ann, Unlike me, who stood and took the words my mind elsewhere in a safe place;
she was sitting on the ground, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, pulling her knees close to her chest. Tears  silently coarseing  down her checks. Something came over me, to this day I do not know what; No was was more terrified of this bully then me. Her little body racked with sobs. I remember she was wearing a white dress and short white jackets, and had them pulled tightly to her in hopes of protection. She was at the point where she had long give up looking around the circle for a friend. By now, she knew the weren't any.

Before I talked myself out of it, I  drew both hands into a fist and double hit the ball sending it sailing towards the sky with the force of my hit it looked like it was headed for the sun. I  took a deep breath, sailed over to my bully drew back and decked him.
Yep. Right in the nose. Then  told him in no uncertain terms to stop picking on Ann or he could expect more.
Out of the corner of my eyes I saw the sassy twins (the popular girls) Sheila and Sharon take off towards the teacher, and the rest of the class stood their silently as I helped Ann up, and she looked at me in pure wonder. So was everyone else eyeing me in the same manner. No one stood up to Bruce before, well you just didn't.
Bruce's nose wasn't broken, but his pride was. I got suspended from school because it is OK to bully with words, but not with your hands. I guess in those days no one understood mental anguish.

It's funny that after that day I don't remember much about Ann, or what went on with her in class. I continued to be a loner, just like today and my life went on as normal. Well almost. Every time I saw my bully, he was now Bruce not Bully and  he was actually nice to me.
I wish I could say I cured him of his bullying, but I didn't. He continued on with other kids; just not in front of me. I lived in a Bully free zone. Wekk until 8th grade. but that is another story.


Got more information on Bullies




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Irene, hunger and the Media Is the media a good thing?

We have had our eyes on Irene this week. The thought of this huge  hurricane descending on Charleston was scary. Every day it changed. It was coming, well maybe not. Oh yes it is coming but it is not going to be as bad as we thought.
Well, we glued our eyes to the media. Schools closed   Even when the weather service was saying, It is not going to be as bad inland, they closed.  We started the morning feeling warm and fuzzy because we knew Tasha's school cared enough to close at the warning of the media.
One school, district actually listened to what was being said and didn't close. "They" whoever "they" are that were at the head of this whole mess, rushed and made that  sole district close down, leaving the kids in more danger because most of their parents were at work.
A co-worker of Denise's who has a child in that fateful district was lucky enough to have  her sister stop by her house for a minute and answer the door to the knock  of her 5 year old niece  that had just been let off a bus. Unbeknownst to his mom.  Otherwise he would have been sitting on the steps of his house for hours. Everyone works. Then What?
In the end, we received no wind, and only two rain squalls. What a roller coaster week.
Still, others say better safe then sorry. I guess. We were planning on keeping Tasha home anyway, so the closing of the school didn't effect us one way or the other. But it did some parents.
 Denny's and other restaurants did a good business, families went out to eat and shop, and do things they could not have done on any other day but a Saturday.
Irene blew by us with a whisper. Only the surfers and beach observers really noticing.
The surfers thoroughly enjoyed it, some of the actually found "The" wave. If ABC news hadn't tole me, I never even knew sh was here.
Perhaps we should have looked more to the sky then the media. Do we understand how strong the media shapes our thoughts?
Now to be fair, Irene is causing a bit of a stir up north. She isn't a tame storm by any means.

A storm tailor made for the media.  And the media took advantage.  We spent days worrying, even whether weather service downgraded. the storm.  It makes me wonder who we listen to the people who know or the ones who get paid to keep us all afraid. Walmart, Lowes, and other stores sold out of water, flashlights and 800 dollars generators.
Chock another one up to the media.

On the other hand..........

It used to be called hunger, But it is now called child Food insecurity. The media changed the name, but no matter what fancy name you call it, it is still Child hunger and it means that a child in the richest and most prosperous  country in the world is going to bed hungry tonight.
How can this be happening in America? Some people will tell you it is because the parents are lazy. See they shouldn't have had the kids if they couldn't afford them, so why are they here?
Not my problem. Aren't there shelters?
Sound familiar?
stive time of year, Mr. Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute.
Ebenezer: Are there no prisons?
First Collector: Plenty of prisons.
Ebenezer: And the union workhouses - are they still in operation?
First Collector: They are. I wish I could say they were not.
Ebenezer: Oh, from what you said at first I was afraid that something had happened to stop them in their useful course. I'm very glad to hear it.
First Collector: I don't think you quite understand us, sir. A few of us are endeavoring to buy the poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth.
Ebenezer: Why?
First Collector: Because it is at Christmastime that want is most keenly felt, and abundance rejoices. Now what can I put you down for?
Ebenezer: Huh! Nothing!
Second Collector: You wish to be anonymous?
Ebenezer: [firmly, but calmly] I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish sir, that is my answer. I help to support the establishments I have named; those who are badly off must go there.
First Collector: Many can't go there.
Second Collector: And some would rather die.

Ouch.
Didn't you were this close to sounding like old scrooge, did you?
the flip side of the media is sometimes it does good. It lets us know what is happening in our world, and how to gauge  our lives. If the media didn't tell would you know the child next doot was hungry, would you think about?
No. 
well, me wither.  It is good to be reminder sometimes of those less fortunate. I I wasn't I would fall into a self pity party
because I am out Ice cream. But I need to be reminded of  the fact some kids never have ice cream. IIt keeps me humble.  If it didn't I'd be a terrible person. No, I am sure of it I am prone to self pity. 


So this blog started out as rant on the media, but made me realize what a necessary evil it is. I mean, As I sit here New York is getting pouded by Irene, but somewhere in America a Child is beeing fed because of a series on Child Food insecurity   broacast earliler this week.


Is this what we cal a necessary evil? 


Oh by the way if you want to help the No Kid Hungry campaing
 Contact these people.

things your kids DIDN'T learn in school

A little snippet of fun, but necessary if you are going to succeed. This is usually atrubuted to Bill Gates but the actual 11 things were written by
Charles J. Sykes in his book Dumbing Down out Kids. the book was written in 1996, But the net gives Bill credit so we’ll include him here.after all, the information you find on the net is correct, isn’t it? Well, isn’t it? Of course not. That is why the Gurus need Virtual Assistants.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for o

Small Talk Six: 6 things your hate or loved about school

Small Talk Six Six things I liked about School Brought to you by the wonderful ladies over at

Mom Dot

1. Tennis, I was on the tennis team.

2. I loved history class, because I loved history. I loved it so much I became a history and english teacher.

3. My teacher Mrs. Michell. She kept telling me I could, when everyone else kept telling me I couldn't. and I DID!

4. I hated bullies, I wasn't bullied but I stood up for some kids that were, got suspended for fighting on campus but the bullies weren't, how interesting.. I learned a lot about life being unfair, that year

5. The quarterback on the football team, we became engaged, he became a cop and was KIA. Life really is not fair.

6. I hated the perky cheerleaders. I couldn't make the squad so I became the "A" in PAlo alto High. The letter girls were below the squad of course. even though we did some of the same routines, etc.

I went downtown to a meeting the the other day, and you couldn't get downLibety street. This in itself was a crazy thing to do, it is the first week of school an the dorms are down that street...you think I'd remembered.

Parents were lined up for the entire block, letting kids and packages out of the car moving their precious littleones into the dorms. College kids flying on their own for the first time, see I knew they were first timers, becasue you learn the second year how to avoid the rush and the turmoil.

You move in early. Or late. Beat the crowds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ze-zc7INRMg

I remember when my kids went to collge, it is a sad and a happy time. for them and for you.

Is school starting at your house to? Whether it is college, elem, highschool oar preshcol

it is time for a new year.. Are you ready?

Wow! It's another Simple Saturday...

Denise and I were driving home from the doctor this after noon, while stopped at a light we heard kids screaming and thought some kids were playing somewhere, looked over and saw a school bus. I saw a little girl run to the front of the bus to talk to the bus driver and the driver apparently told her to sit down. She went back to her seat slowly when another little jumped out and took her down. Literally. She grabbed her by the neck and pulled her to the floor. The driver was looking in the mirror, apparently directing children who didn't care lot of what she said. I felt sorry for the little girl who had quite obliviously been asking for help, I can think of a million things I would have done, buy I have never been in that position. So how could I know the situation? Denise and I discussed it as we drove away talking bout that being the most dangerous job in the world, but the strange thing is, I think it must be. How do you turn your back on 30 - 40 kids every day? Even today I think about that little girl. I hope It was a one time thing, not a bullying situation.
You can't tell, but this is a picture of an airplane. Yep, that's right. I had airplanes flying around my yard last night.I caught this one coming in for a landing. then it took off again.
Natasha loves planes. When we pick up her mom, the place she works is close to an airport, so we would sit out and watch airplanes. Tasha gets so excited when a plane goes over. Her uncle last night started to make paper airplanes for her, so we started with airplanes in the house. Then they swooped out to the back yard. Planes landing at sunset. Mom and Uncle Eric were her supporting planes. The flew, and landed and whooped making plane noises all over the yard. I wondered what the neighbors thought. We live in a neighborhood of older people, grandparents.
People who like peace and order. What I hope they did was smile at the grown up who were not afraid to look silly with a Little girl.
I think they probably did. Parents get so busy, they don't remember how to be silly. I watching a TV program the other day about a cop who hated Chrismas, and a little girl asked when had he forgotten?
"Forgotten what?" he asked?
"Forgotten what it was like to believe that a man who doesn't even know you will fly all over the world thousands of miles, just to leave you a present."
"That's not true," the policeman retorted,
"But it is to kids, and if you could just remember that feeling, you'd never forget childhood."
I asked my son if he could remember anything silly I did with them when they were kids, He gave me a list:

Water Balloon fights

Bringing home appliance boxes so they could build things in the back yard.
Swim Days
Airplanes. Airplanes?

I just asked for one, I got many. I guess they got their silliness from me. I hope all parents remember there kids are young but once, so take a minute and be silly.I really really liked the water balloons as I recall.

Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday, I know everyone is sitting in the edge of their chairs waiting on the super bowl, Me? I am waiting on the commercials. It amazes me they pay 3 million dollars for 30 seconds but no one seems to think anything of it.Any way, thats not my point. Everyone has favorites, Mean Joe Green is I believe everyones Favorite But it's not mine my son's favorite one is 1984: Apple http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R706isyDrqI

My Daughter's is doesn't really have one, but if she did being she over frogs I would have to guess this onehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVcbasIb8lQ And that one is cute, but my favorite is the one that every women can relate to. The one that A single women after a bad date will watch and shake her head, the one that married women understand This is My Favorite

Made my day.

postscript: I have worked all day on this blog. The pictures wouldn't post, I just can' t get Hyperlinks right, the ones correct I give credit to my son. I am going out for a Ben and Jerry's maybe two.. It has been anything but a "Simple Saturday" Maybe I'll have three..

A future Blogger..a new world

This morning I got up and made pancakes, but Miss Tasha wanted cereal instead. I gave her cereal, but the wrong kind. We finally got straight with the breakfast (Nanny won We have some choices but not always for willful little girls..) She definitely has a mind of her own. 

Natasha likes to do whatever it is the grownups do, today she is sitting at her computer typing her blog. I am sitting at my computer behind her. We are a pair. 

It is so important that we be good role models for our little ones. I hope someday, Tasha does have a blog of her own. by the time she is old enough though, typing blogs will be passe', she will probably talk to her computer and it will type it for her. I wish I could do that some days. 

Any rate she is at her computer and Nanny is at hers and all is right with the world. Our future is in the midst of change right now. The choices the new president has to make are much bigger then what to have for breakfast. The choices our little ones will face will be more devastating then the ones we did.

I remember my grandmother being worried about Nuclear war. Do any of you remember the stop and drop drills? I was in kindergarten, but I remember the commercials, the public system warnings. The dire predictions. I was in California then, and on every street corner was a soothsayer "Tomorrow is the end of the world" they'd crow. Well, I am still here.  Nuclear war is not the big worry these days. It is far more sinister. Terrorism. You can't send your kids to school, you can't send a love one to work and know they will be home safe. Columbine and 9/11 took care of that. Someone ask me once:

What do you call a country that you have to carry gas masks with you, you never know if a loved one will return, from the store or a walk, you always live in fear from day to day?"

I said quietly "Israel"

Israel has lived under the threat of its neighbors for the entire 50 years it has been in existence.

Life is a daily struggle, things that are not big enough to hit the news happen every day. I hear people criticize Israel for the bombing of Gaza, but no one mentions the Palestinian have been terrorizing Israel for months.

The attacks are horrible, yes. But how does one protect itself? And how do we?

Israels enemy's are foreign some of ours are, a lot of ours aren't. Oklahoma city comes to mind, school shootings where a classmate you teased may be the next terrorist. because those are attacks of terrorism as well. 

So, our youngsters have to grow up sooner. They have to afraid sooner. 

The decisions our new government has to make are scarier. they have the world front and the our own territory to worry about. The financial situation, will our kids own a home? Will their be jobs? January 20, the man who will make these decisions is going to be sworn into office. I have heard a lot about his choice of a dog for his girls, I have heard much about the first grandmother and what everyone will be wearing. What I need to hear is that this country is going to be safe for my family. That there will be jobs, not a bailout but real jobs so they can continue to feed their families. I want Natasha to go to school and come home.

So much depends on the next 4 years. and  I pray the new government of change is up to it. 

the life of my kids and the future of my granddaughter depends on it. 

So Mr. Obama I am praying for you. I pray you know the enormous job you have ahead of you. I pray you protect not just your Little one but all our little ones and our military please bring them home with honor. Those of us who remember do not want another reception like the guys got from Vietnam, please support them. On your day remember the country that has many hurting starving and out of work. and good luck to you, sir. our prayers are with you.