Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Once I was Thirty

So, I woke up this morning thinking it would be a normal day, when the reality hit me. I was old.Yes, thats right. Old. Why did it hit me so suddenly?  Because I remembered, that today is my son's birthday and he is 29.  Not 30 yet, thank heavens. But 29. On the threshold of the BIG 3 0.

There is something about 30. I remember going through, 30 is old stage. Remember the movie  Logan's Run? Everyone over thirty waa renewed because  thirty was the age.  You were old! You were in a wheelchair. Get the Geritol! Get the fixdent! at midnight on the day of your 30th birthday all your teeth will fall out, arthritis will set in, you will just be old.

Hence for two weeks before my 30th birthday, I was depressed. I thought life as I knew it was over. Then the day of my birthday came. I avoided the mirror all day, finally I walking by, I glanced in without thinking, And did a double take. What? I look the same? Where are the wrinkles? Where are the bags? I look like I did yesterday.

Logans run lied to me. 30 is not over the hill!

I got over my depression, went to my 30th birthday party, black balloons and all. I really had a good time.

That was then.

Now I wake up and it is not my 30th birthday, I am a year away from  my oldest childs 30th birthday. Then my daughter will turn thirty Does it end?

But times change. the advent of my son's 30th birthday hardly effects him. He went out with his friends. He is planning a trip to thailand, starting a new internet business, for him life, birthdays included is a step onto another phase in his exhistance.

Were we less mature 20 years ago when I turned thirty? Why did it make such a differentce then?

 So maybe, at 50 I am not old either. Maybe my son turning 29 is my milestone. 

It was fun remembering the days of my 30th birthday. I had three little ones, money was tight but the biggest trauma I remember is I was going to be thirty. I remember Diania Ross, yes Disco and Saturday night live when it had Gilda Radner and Eddie Murphy. I remember Jonestown. And I remember Logans run. 

My son will remember the first  African American president of the greatest nationin the world. He will remember terrorist attacks, and Ellen. Things I never imagined at 30. 

And he has  364 days and 5 hours until DDay. .it  Doesn't bother me. Really it doesn't. 364 days??????? hmmmm.

cross posted at blogher


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