September 7th How do you survive the loss of a child?

It started out as a normal day, As normal as the first day of school could be.

I feel I said a lot of no's that day. They resound in my head, and i have never been able to put them to rest.

We went shopping for new clothes on Sunday. The people from the church had given her lots of money, so new life, new clothes. She had just had surgery, it was successful so life was assured, right? It was supposed to be downhill from here.

She came out and showed me her new jeans and shirt.

Can I wear them? No, lets save them for church, they look too nice.

We were just hanging around the house, why get them dirty.

Can we have fried apples for dinner?

No Dinner is ready, we'll have them tomorrow.

There wasn't going to be a tomorrow or a church day. To this day I can't prepare fried apples, or eat them.

I buried her in her jeans.

How could I know?

The night before she had asked me, What happens when you die? And I told her: You simply wake up with Jesus.

Did she know something I didn't?

She died, in my arms, I felt the Angel take her, or maybe it was Jesus Himself. I felt her spirit go home.

Days go buy I still feel her in my arm and my spirit. I know she is with Jesus, but, it doesn't help because I am selfish. I want her here.

I would give so much to get my child back, those who willingly throw away their children baffle me.

You don't know God's plan, only He does. Love your child, hug him or her: don't count on tomorrow, Today may be all you have. That is for all of us.

How do you survive the loss of a child? one day at a time.

I still miss you Sharon. I can't wait to see you again.

Love

Mom

Speak For Lavendar-Silenced forever

This is a copy of another blog. This little girl was murdered, Help stop it from happening again.

I cry every time things like this happened...No child should suffer...please take a moment and fill out the form for the DA, and link to Ohilda's blog. It breaks my heart I would give my own life to get Sharon's back...Please help see this doesn't happen again....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJgP1BE3eF4

Dear Friends,

I, along with a group of other adoptive moms, have become worried that without a grieving family to push the District Attorney's office, Lavender's case might very well be swept under the rug. We very much want the DA to know that Lavender has a huge adoptive family who grieves for her and just as we fought for her to come home, we will fight to have her voice heard.

In this effort, we have come up with a plan to write the DA's office to expressour strong desire for justice to be served in this case.

Please join us in writing the DA either via the online form by clicking HERE. * You do NOT have to have adopted or even be a Mom or Dad to write. You only have to know in your heart that this little girl was WRONGED and justice needs to be served.

Please have the subject read: "Justice for Lavender Banks".

We have written the following statement to express our wishes to the DA:

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Dear District Attorney Jan Scully,

This letter is to urge your office to seek justice for Lavender Banks, who diedon May 2, 2008. Her mother, Sabrina Banks, stands accused of her murder. We, as an adoption community, banded together to support Sabrina Banks when she wanted to adopt Lavender from China. This same community grieves for the loss of Lavender and demands that those responsible for her death be brought to justice. Sabrina Banks has had her time to talk. Now, finally, it is little Lavender's turn.

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Please feel free to use this statement and/or add your personal thoughts. We just want to make sure that the DA knows that there are many people who would like to see justice done in this case.

Help spread the word! You are more than welcome to link to this page, post it on your blog, online forums, FaceBook, or any group that you may belong to. We need to show the DA's office how very important this issue is to the adoption community and how much sweet Lavender's life mattered.

Thank you for being a voice for this angel!