Monday, September 7, 2009

September 7th How do you survive the loss of a child?

I feel I said a lot of no's that day. They resound in my head, and i have never been able to put them to rest.
We went shopping for new clothes on Sunday. The people from the church had given her lots of money, so new life, new clothes. She had just had surgery, it was successful so life was assured, right? It was supposed to be downhill from here.

She came out and showed me her new jeans and shirt.
Can I wear them? No, lets save them for church, they look too nice.
We were just hanging around the house, why get them dirty.
Can we have fried apples for dinner?
No Dinner is ready, we'll have them tomorrow.
There wasn't going to be a tomorrow or a church day. To this day I can't prepare fried apples, or eat them.
I buried her in her jeans.
How could I know?

The night before she had asked me, What happens when you die? And I told her: You simply wake up with Jesus.

Did she know something I didn't?

She died, in my arms, I felt the Angel take her, or maybe it was Jesus Himself. I felt her spirit go home.

Days go buy I still feel her in my arm and my spirit. I know she is with Jesus, but, it doesn't help because I am selfish. I want her here.

I would give so much to get my child back, those who willingly throw away their children baffle me.

You don't know God's plan, only He does. Love your child, hug him or her: don't count on tomorrow, Today may be all you have. That is for all of us.

How do you survive the loss of a child? one day at a time.

I still miss you Sharon. I can't wait to see you again.

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