just saying hello

ok so its a new year. . :) The New year has started off crisp and cold, with several blessing already.
I hope all of you have had a good beginning as well
I don't do resolutions, but I do set goals. My goal is to do better in 2011.
Building my business, watching Natasha grow up.
Take time to not only plant flowers but enjoy them as well.
To make new friends, and enjoy my old one

What are you goals for 2011

Small talk six: ^ of your most vivid childhood memories

Small Talk Six six vivid childhood memories. I didn't have a vivid childhood, so this will be a little hard for me but I will try.

1. I remember going to my first Renaissance faire ( I was big into this stuff)

It was a camping trip, you have to be dressed in period costumes, and just try to go to a outhouse in a 1600 costume. I remember my dress was copied from Queen Mary of Scotland, many many petticoats and a truss. I was 14.

Later I changed to Civil War Reenactments, clothes were easier.

I remember Elementary school graduation, a boy I had liked forever asked me to sit with him at the movies, I was so excited I had a Asthma attack. right there. He never asked me again, luckily we went to different Juniot high

s.

I remember when we first moved to California, I couldn't believe how big everthing was. everyone teased me about my accent, coming from a little southern town it was hard to navigate the streets, and all the traffic.

My first communion, I was 12,  I was catholic got to wear a white dress with a veil, I got my own lttle missal,  a white bracelet and necklace. I walked importantly  down the center  aisle of the church,  tripped, fell and reached out to catch the the girl in front of me to stop my fall. knocked her off balance and she sat there sobbing in front of allllll the people. While I stood there holding her veil in my very embarrassed hands

I am now a baptist.  :)

Going on a school field to a mission San Juan Batista, being sooo impressed with the mission it was gorgeous, I came home in wonder that I didn't have any mishaps. Tripped getting off the school bus.

Again when I was 12, teasing my brother and his girlfriend until he got so mad he locked me in the basement, and forgot me. My other brother came looking for me for dinner and I was sitting on the basement stairs crying because I thought I was going to be down there forever.

See? Very Boring Childhood.

Of blogging and life, virtual and real...

I missed Six small things Saturday, I couldn't think of six things I wouldn't want my kids to say. So I skipped it.

I have a lot of favorite bloggers. Some of them just fit my mood, like Barb at Nice shoes. She is a blast (dates me right?) her life as a business exec and entering the dating world again are inspirational sometimes, touching other times,  but keeps a smile on my face all the time

Shortmama over at the family of shorts, has many different subjects on her blog, you can't help but laugh, cry, giggle with her, and when all is said and done go over to her other blog, short cook and have dinner. I have tried many of her recipes, they alway turn out and I can even make them taste good. This, if you knew me, would know how amazing that is in itself.

I meant Shortmama through a charming little household out at  Life at Killeny Glen Jill has wonderful tales to tell of life at the Glen. She makes you wish you lived there. I thought about naming my house, but I couldn't think of a suitable one.

I like blogging. I like talking to my blog friends on facebook and Twitter, because then they feel like real friends which they are and as if they are close to you.

For instance, I spent a lot of time in prayer for a new bloggy  friend, Ohilda over at A bouquet of Blessings she has had a very hard week with sick kids, and she her self was not well and at one point I think even the dog had the sniffles, she came through like a trooper and I had the honor of praying for her and her little ones.

I started reading Carma Sez because of her Cheese Ball project. It kept and held my attention for a minute, but Carma's blog is one of the ones that always has something going on, and it's always fun just to stop by.

Bloggers are special people. The USA today says mommy bloggers are the most powereful voices in the world today. We do everything. We blog. We sell on our blogs, some preach, some talk, some vent. Whatever we do, we are telling the world how it is.

I think thats grand.

I started blogging for the fun of it. I just wanted a place to write, so I could look back and see where I have been this year. Well, I am on my 200 blog post and apparently I have been a lot of places, Tasha went from a baby with a mind of her own to a little girl still with a mind of her own. I have lived in four houses in three states, changed jobs three time all with the same company, gave up and started my own business, which to my surprise is actually working out.

I learned a lot about myself, more about others. Just because of blogging.

I heard somewhere the basis of our communication is changing. Social media is the way businesses are enticing customers, if you are a business and you don't have a website then you are not legit.

Theres a big difference between the real world and the online world. I am proud to have friends in both.

I also now make my living in the virtual world for the most part. I remember years ago, going online and simply playing pac man.

How far back do I remember? Does anyone remember Prodigy? That was the very first network I was on, then I moved up to AOL.

One of these online networks is totally gone, and the other has become a shadow of itself.

Sill, the virtual world grows. You can buy anything online, never leaving your house.

So communication is a natural outcome of this, making friends in Scotland, while living in Charleston seems natural to me now, a few years ago it was unbelievable.

I learned all of this blogging. While you have a minute, check out my friends I mention above, I meant them through other friends, but if I named them all I would be here all night and I have tomake a living sometime.

How about you?  Why do you blog?

Digging myself out

There are days when everything piles up on you and as you stand there peeking over the edge, just thankful there is light at the top of the pile: you get that phone call or visit that totally blocks the light. There you stand, wondering if you will ever see daylight again.

I have had a week like that, and I am still searching for a little light. Isn't it funny how things happen, then happen and then happen????

I guess it is all in how you handle things. It is when we get to the point we are feeling to much in control of our lives, God has to remind us it is HIM not us calling the shots.

So I am sorting out the surprises I have had this week and the little catastrophes and setting them in the hands of our Lord.

In the meantime, I have stopped peeking over the edge of the mountain looking for daylight and am dealing with it, a piece at a time.

Sometimes, well most of the time, I think we get overwhelmed by the mountain, and it seems to large.

So I am starting one piece at a time. Hopefully I will dig myself out. In the meantime, have a nice day

Children, Tantums, and Natasha

One of my kids shared an incident with me a while back. They told me about a time they were scribbling on a piece of paper pretending they were doing "cursive" we called it in those days.

They ran up and showed it to their Dad, who shot them down with a word: that's not cursive, that's just scribbling. they were devastated and still 24 years later remember and hear the words as if it were today.

I didn't remember the incident, but got as angry at there dad today, as if I had been then, had I known I probably would have popped him on the head. I had to do that a lot with him. Sensitive was not his forte and kids also were not, Although he loved his kids, he hadn't any idea how to handle them.

I know he didn't mean it, but it was so hurtful that the child remembers it today.

Tasha has had what I call a Brat day. She has whined, and cried, and shouted MINE MINE so many times I have almost taken every toy, book, blanket and item of clothing she owns away from her. Well not really, but she has had a day. I tell her on these days she is acting like Stingy on Lazy Town. She pouts at that she doesn't like Stingy, and knows he is not a nice person.

I had a flashback for a few minutes, I was picking up Eric and on his way home he decided he wanted Taco Bell, and of course brought Tasha a Taco,Which was left in the bag while he munched on his nachos. Tasha ungraciously told him not to eat HER taco, in such a rude manner I thought it was another child was in the back seat. I just looked at her, and took in the tired cranky look and started to scold her a little, Eric intervined, explained to her he wouldn't eat her Taco but it wasn't hers yet it was a gift and he hadn't given it to her yet. He was careful to be kind. Good for him. Because what she really needed was a swat.

Kids go through all kinds of stages, and at the age of "almost 4" the brat stage is pretty common. I am glad Eric remembered she was only 3 1/2.

I saw a parent in the grocery store the other day, apparently her child was having a brat day as well. She was trying to crawl out of the basket, throwing a total fit. How that mom remained calm, I don't know but when he was settled and stopped, the mom said in a low voice, "You know whats going to happen when we get home, right?"

The child sniffing looked up and said a spanking? she nodded yep. a good one.

I had to smile, but the child knew his consequences,and that's a plus. The mom kept her cool. I liked that, however, I don't want to be at her house or any where near when they get home.

I started this because I was thinking about Lavender during all of these little episodes. What could she had done so horribly that her mother would beat her to death?

Tasha can throw a fit mind you,, she can scream, yell, kick hollar with the best of them (I just don't take pictures on those days maybe someday I should) but we just wait her out. I have a naughty chair she hates, that I put her in.

After on such exhausting episode Eric told me, I can really understand child abuse, then he laughed and said not really.

But really. On some days you can understand how a parent can get to the point, but jumping off is what I don't understand. I'd cut off my hand before hurting my, or anyone elses child.

Speaking of Walmart, when I worked there I say a mother terribly deriding her child, yelling calling him names, really threatening her life. I grabbed another associate and walked over to her offered her a cup of coffee in the break room. While the other associate watched the child.

After she calmed down, mom and son were reunited, but with the added advantage of knowing how she looked to people. She left apologizing and contrite. I wasn't trying o humiliate her I just wanted her to calm down, but she went to the store manager a week later and told her, she had started getting help. She just didn't realize she was out of control.

Can we all help an out of control mom? Maybe that's the key. Maybe that would have saved Lavender. Maybe we should not turn our heads and hope things will be ok. Do you know an overwhelmed mother?

And do it goes...

Angel

Children and fear, Charleston and moving Random Friday

Imagine your life wholly untouched by angst. What if faith, not fear,

was your default reaction to threats? If you could hover a fear magnet

over your heart and extract every last shaving of dread, insecurity, and

doubt, what would remain? Envision a day, just one day, absent the

dread of failure, rejection, and calamity. Can you imagine a life with no fear?

Max Lucado - Fearless

I have been thinking a lot about fear lately. I have stepped out in faith on some things that have been absolutely scary. Starting my own business meant going for a while without income.

Scary.

Moving to a strange town.

moving again

and again

and yet again.

Is life supposed to be fearful? I don't think so, bu I think it is our first reaction to any situation we are not sure of or appears strange to us. I wonder what would happen if our reaction was faith.

Tasha likes to watch a show called Yo Gabba Gabba. The show positivity irritates me, but it is one of two shows she will really sit and watch. Not to mention sing to and with, do the dance movements then spend 5 minutes telling me all about what happened in the show.

One of the "robots named Trudy was afraid of the dark, and the other robots joined to assure her there was nothing to be afraid of the dark. This show made a profound effect on Tasha. Now she is not afraid of the dark, but since yo Gabba Gabba told her it was OK, she was not going to be afraid of the dark. It is amazing how much of an impact a TV show has on a 3 year old, if we realized this more I think we would be more careful what is on in the background.

I was watching a war movie, and Tasha wasn't paying me or the TV any attention, but after she asked me why the men were playing with firecrackers.

But she wasn't scared. But I was, and kicked myself many times that day for making the mistake for thinking for a second her subconscious wasn't paying attention.

I think fear is a learned exercise. Although some fear is good, (fear of strangers, etc) I don't think we want our kids to be fearful all the time.

Maybe just very cautious. But I don't know how you teach this without scaring them.

Tasha is never left alone, not even in the back yard. She doesn't

't know it is because we worry about things, she just knows that Mom, Nanny and uncles Eric are always there for her.

Do we tell her about the bad people who might reach over the fence and take her away.

The very interesting thing is, even 20 years ago these were not fears we had, kids played in the backyard, or on the front porch.

Polly Klaas's abductor had not made it unsafe for kids to even go to bed at night.

Are you afraid ?

Tasha and the pizza man

The phone was raining yesterday evening and I told Tasha to answer it, because I knew it was her mom, Tasha picked it up and then immediately returned it to it's cradle. She looked at me and said , well Pizza's here! Apparently that's more important then mom. She ran to the door opened it and said: Hello Pizza man! Do you think she likes Pizza?

I am moving my blog to Wordpress next week, I hope all of you will follow.

It is cloudy and overcast in Charleston, I like days like this. It is what I call a thinking day or even a reading day. I can do both.

I hope for you it is a wonderful day.

And so it goes...

Angel

Tasha's bad day.....

Tasha had a hard day yesterday. Her mom worked a double at work, meaning she was gone from 7am until well, she isn't home yet and it's 10:45 pm. So she missed her mom of course, but she just plain had a hard day.

1. She stuffed crackers in her mouth because she was in a hurry to see Dora, and ended up choking on them. As she ran down the hall to get to her TV. We had a time getting her unchoked because she was so scared, she finally (gross sorry) Threw them up. Crying. But we calmed her down and so all was well

until

2. She waited to long to go potty, and had accident. She rushed to get to the potty chair, didn't have time and had a major accident. all over her chair, the floor, and well,just everything. Again with the tars, she wa sooo pitiful! Nanny scooped her up and put her in the bathtub. There jus wasn't anything else to do. She loves taking a bath, so she stayed in there two hours until dinner had a grand old time having Barbie, Aurora, and sleeping beauty dive in the tub. then she went swimming, and all was fine. Nanny had to use towels to mop up the floor, but it was worth it.

So all was fine

until

3. Chasing the kitty up the hall she slipped and slid into my desk and computer, and the phone fell on her head. Again Tear's, of course the phone hurt! But we got through it and all was fine

until

4. I was lying on the sofa with a headache, she decided I needed her blanket to feel better so she went and got me her blanket, and the decided that I need her special pillow, she grabbed the pillow and ran yes ran straight into the door frame. Hit her head. She had a headache for a while.

She will have a bit of a knot on her forehead tomorrow. She got Ice cream for this one. after I held her for a bit feeling every inch of hr pain...the all was fine.

until

5. She was playing with the kitty, and jumped on the chair and rolled off the arm onto,her toosh.

This hurt little more then her pride, but by now I am seriously worried she is not going to survive the night. So I sit her down and watch WaWa wubzy and blues clues with her, so she cannot do any further harm to her self....

and everything is fine

until

Well not really until, she fell aslepp in the middle of Blues Clue, and we didn't even find the clue.

She had a hard day, the little one. I sit here and I feel so bad, but all of us b have bad days sometimes.

All I can hope is tomorrow is better. It will be.Mom is off.

And so it goes...

Angel

Enough Said

Thank You

1 brother in Vietnam January 15,1968 3:48 pm

i Cousin in Lebanon Oct 23, 1983 6:22 am

6 Friends in Iraqui Freedom

2 in Desert Storm

Enough Said.

I

Three Little Girls

Childhood friends are pretty wonderful. I didn't have any, because I lived a pretty secluded life.

But my kids were lucky enough to have some great friends who have grown up to be wonderful adults. 

I twitter or FB some of these friends now and am really proud at how they have grown up. 

One of their friends, is on FB and is a late night friend for me, because she has a very active two year old she tells me about and I smile. 

I met Lori when she herself was two. Her brothers were climbing my cherry tree, I went over to speak to her mom because I had a two year old of my own sleeping in the bedroom that had a window next to the tree. 

It could have been ugly. It could have been nasty. But it was none of those things. Her mom was gracious, and horrified that the boys should disturb us that way. I felt so bad a few days later she was sitting in her front yard with Lori and I went over to apologize for snitching. And so began a 20 something friendship that went on over three states. 

We went through a lot, her mother always being the gracious one, me being a Christian who had to learn  to be gracious, why she put up with me I shall never know.

Our kids played together and Sharon and Lori became very best friends, for the most part. 

Lori was headstrong. But Sharon was head stronger. Lori was tough, but Sharon was tougher.

And Denise was peacemaker.We went to yardsales. We went shopping. We went to parks. Lori in her carseat, and Sharon and Denise in thier booster seats.  

Through it all they grew up more like sisters then friends. 

When they moved to Virginia, we all mourned, but two years later we followed and ended up right in the same town. 

Things changed When Sharon died, Lori remained in our lives and friends to the kids but things changed for all. 

The teen years hit, All the kids went through tough times some harder then others, but all came out on the other side stronger and the kind of kids you are proud of. 

Lori had the hardest time. I remember praying for her and her mom to survive the hard times. 

We drifted apart for a minute, but not far enough so we weren't in touch. We lived in a tiny town.

I remember a friend telling somethings and crying for both of them but unable to do anything but pray.

Teen years are hard for teens, anyway without extras getting involved. 

Two other friends of Denise's are on the board and friends of Eric's, we keep in touch, but the girls are special. 

It was a privilege to sit and watch their teen years. I was very involved in the the teen group at church and got to know them all . But mostly they were at our house a lot. 

Zandria's family would come over on Wednesday's and spend the afternoon, we alternated who cooked dinner. I stole a few of her mom's recipes, I don't know if any of mine were good enough to steal. :)

I prepare them to this very day.

Zandrias mom and i\I share a birthday, and her younger sister Angela and Sharon also shared a birthday. So we felt our families were irrevocably intertwined. and they were for years. 

Denise and Zandria remain close friends and I count this very versatile and energetic young lady in my group of friends as well. She is an anytime friend. And an amazing grownup, as she was a child.

Jeannie was special. As well. Being the oldest sister of a large family, she grew up with such special parents who knew what it was like to be in her place.  Jeannie learned her  wonderful self confidence and perserverence from her mom I am sure, her mom is a special lady and a strong Christian and apparently right on with the BB gun. 

When your kids friends are playing with your kids, you never think about what they will be when they grow up. All of these girls I felt were like my own children. I cried for them, kept them on my prayerlist for years and am so proud of what they have become and what they give tot he world. 

Children don't remain children, they grow up and become adults. 

Lori is my miracle child. She hs overcome the most and made me the proudest. 

She did it on her own and deserves to stand proud. Being headstrong is a good thing.

She had so many childhood friends die in their teen years, yet she went on. 

I think about what would have been different if Sharon had lived, then I realized that God had a plan for all the girls no matter what. He had His hand on them 

What a wonderful new generation He has raised.

Some days are just like that....A tribute to Judith Viorst and Alexander

One of the books I used to read to my kids all the time was Alexander and the horrible terrible, no good very bad day by Judith Viorst. We loved Alexander especially Denise. The reason? Alexander was a middle child  in constant tormented by his older and younger siblings.

I can recite it from memory: I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now ther  is  gum in my hair.....

I loved it because that house sounded like mine and I felt a little bit normal. 

I read it every time a child came home with his heart broken over having a bad day.

Judith Viorst was proflic writer and you knew she was writing about her boys. I had Alexander, Anthony and Nicholas at most stages of the early years. I could pull out a book on almost anything and read  about a smilar situation between her boys and my three.

Denise had a day where everything went wrong. 

 Denise left a pen in her new yellow shirt, I threw it in the washer thinking she had cleared her pockets, and well you know what happened.  Yep a pretty blue  circle on her yellow pocket of her good work shirt. 

She just kind of looked at me and dumped it in the garbage. OOPs. 

Someone tried to snatch her purse as she was crossing the street. She went to three car dealers none of whom wanted to play fair and because she was in a desperate situation, they took advantage.

She did finally get a car but she is thinking about taking it back.

other things in this 24 hour period:

She had two new people hired and only one showed up.

She had a cook call out.

She had to ask one of her cooks to bring her home because of her car, he charged her a hamburger.

She broke down twice in her old car.

There is a mysterious  squeaking in the engine of her new used car.

Being a manager at Denny's is not always fun.

Poor Denise. Poor Alexander,

I am ordering the book from Amazon, I guess we still need it.

Alexander says: This has been a terrible, horrible no good very bad day, I think I'll move to Australia.

and his mom says: Some days are just like that:even in  Australia,

And so they are Denise. 

Waking up - Random Friday

Yesterday, Thursday I was awaken by the piter patter of little footsteps running down the hall, I turned over faced the wall and hoped they would continue, but they didn't. They, as usual made  sharp left and dashed into my room at top speed, upon entering made a beeline for my bed and I found myself being summarily attacked by a three yard old and her sippy cup. 

My mornings often start this way, but sometimes they start with a call from the other room, wanting me to get up and come climb into bed with her.

Either way, I lose. Or do I? 

Somehow, I think,  should I go back to an old fashioned cell phone waking me up it would be quite dull. 

Life is made up of a series of events that make our days, weeks, years, what they are. 

I am thinking of the changes in my life by the early morning ritual of waking up.

Years ago,I was awaken by two girls giggling in their room, and a young man who got them up and helped them make their own breakfast. I could hear them fussing, and Sharon's every day no every hour plaintive voice, "Eric, No" for whatever reason. It started at breakfast and went on all day. Eric, no don't touch this, Don't look at me, leave that alone, Mom Eric is bugging me. 

Sibling rivalry? In my house it was Eric and Sharon rivalry.

Years after that, they got up made breakfast and didn't need me at all. Got their school books stat at the dining room table waiting for me to start school. 

Still for a minute heard the Eric, Nos until during this period they were silenced forever.

Then I turned around, and I was alone. They were in colleges or their own apartments,

and I found myself in a 2500 5 bedroom house alone. 

So, the alarm clock tried to wake me, but mostly I awaken myself. Breakfast was yogurt if anything, then off to work I went. Fed my Golden retriever "Beau"  This is my independent period. 

A few years after  the house was too big I found myself in a townhouse, and with a cellphone. 

The shrill of the cell phone was different from the alarm clock, I still beat it with my inner clock. 

My daughter lived up the rode with her new husband, my ex lived across the street and my son was in Charleston with the person who was to become his wife in a few years. Another era begins. 

The cell phone remains the means of waking up until two years ago and I moved to Florida,

Then a 18 month old had to check on me each morning to make sure I was still there.  Most morning I was up before she was, and went to work, but the mornings I was there she knew and had to make sure I was awake. 

so now, the 18 month old is three and still makes sure she is the one to wake Nanny up. 

We have a deal, her and I, she can't get up until the sun is up. Thats a hard deal to keep, she has so much life in her. 

But I am awaken by the sound of children or child again. 

It would seem I have gone in a circle, here I am once again with a child being the focus of the house. There are not three but most days, their might a well be she has the energy of all three of my kids who were mellow. 

The cycle of our lives are steady, and I think the world goes in the same cycle. Denise and I were shopping at the good will today and I pulled out a skirt I would swear, (except I don't) was the same skirt I brought back in 1989, same color, same style. I know I have heard before the clothes they wore in the 20's was the same clothes they wore in the 60's. So maybe the cycle does continue. 

Hope not though, that skirt was ugly in 1989 and it was still  ugly in 2009. Some parts of the cycle can't change. 

But some can', because children will always be here and the joy of waking up to a child excitement at facing another day is priceless. What is mundane to us, is still fresh and exciting to us and that is what makes the cycle worth it. 

So no I don't lose, the cycle just becomes richer as I wake up in the morning to the sound of new life, time enough for my cell phone to wake me up again.