Childhood dramas or tramua

Denise got one of her first parental shocks this week. She found Tasha sitting on the floor among shards of sheared hair. SCissors in hand.Denise did what any strong, loving tough, fair minded, minded mom would do.

She cried.

Tash's hair is like her crowning glory. It is long, thick, soft and beautiful. The only time it is annoying iswhen you are combing it out and it has somehow gotten tangled, Then I feel like cutting it off myself.

I didn't have the heart to tell her this was just the first of many child induced tears.

For instance: The time Eric wanted to help his dad with the BBQ and threw additional fluid it on the already burning coal, and singed his eyebrows off his face.

For Instance: the time Denise and Eric decided to jump off the roof of the garage while paying, something right now I don't remember what. I just remember children flying through the air.

After picking up my heart off the floor, I went over to see them only to find them giggling.

I almost went to bed for a week.

For instance: Eric calling me from a park to tell me he was playing spotlight and was stuck in a train tunnel and was calling me to say good by. I yelled at him to get out of that tunnel or I would kill him, then jumped in my car to drive to the park only to find no one there. They went calmly back to their friends house for snack. And to discuss thie adventure, fter getting out of the tunnel. After seeing the tunnel and where he was, he almost did die that day twice, once by train and once by mom, , and I almost went to jail. After I hugged him of course.

For instance: Denise going skiing, and slipping and shattering her knee. Her dad called me described her symptoms and asked me if he should take her to the hospital. No, I said, we'll do the surgery at home. Score one for sarcasim. The interesting thing is as she was explaining to me the accident, she never actually got on skis, but was injured while putting them on, to add insult to injury, the young man trying to help her up in his concern, dropped his skies on her head making it almost comical if it hadn't been so tragic. He felt horrible, but all I could do was laugh.

When he came up to me miserably to apologize at church the following Sunday I assured him it was all right, but still giggled.Stress I guess. He finally saw the humor in his fumbling over her trying to help her up and taking her out with his skis instead. No harm done. But she survived, I hope he did. The knee still gives her some trouble even until today, but she still likes to ski.

Did you every wonder how kids survive childhood? Better yet, how do we? With a sense of humor thats how.

Angel

Childhood survivors

Tasha Grows up:The potty wars won!

Tasha is in her 2nd week of actually going to the potty. It is amazing to me, that the toddler whose diaper I was changing less then 2 weeks ago is now a little girl. She used to be so clingy, and now to our surprise total Independence has invaded our lives.

The toddler who used to sit on the steps and tearfully wave good by to her mom, just gave her a hug this morning as sang out Bye Mama! as she ran back to he room.

What happened?

Kids change in the wink of an eye. Certain milestones, bring certain maturity comes with each one.

I remember when Denise didn't want to walk to the door with me, it was a tiny bit devastating to me, my little girl had grown up.She ran the other way out the back door. I was sad, but I got over it quickly when she showed me that new doors were opening. She hopped on her tricycle and rode off into the sunset, and ran into the side of the house.

Tasha has been skating on her Barbie skates, all through the house. She falls, and has to be helped up so she still needs us, but it is just in a different way.

New hurdle: Dancing school. Oh Boy.

Three Little Girls

Childhood friends are pretty wonderful. I didn't have any, because I lived a pretty secluded life.

But my kids were lucky enough to have some great friends who have grown up to be wonderful adults. 

I twitter or FB some of these friends now and am really proud at how they have grown up. 

One of their friends, is on FB and is a late night friend for me, because she has a very active two year old she tells me about and I smile. 

I met Lori when she herself was two. Her brothers were climbing my cherry tree, I went over to speak to her mom because I had a two year old of my own sleeping in the bedroom that had a window next to the tree. 

It could have been ugly. It could have been nasty. But it was none of those things. Her mom was gracious, and horrified that the boys should disturb us that way. I felt so bad a few days later she was sitting in her front yard with Lori and I went over to apologize for snitching. And so began a 20 something friendship that went on over three states. 

We went through a lot, her mother always being the gracious one, me being a Christian who had to learn  to be gracious, why she put up with me I shall never know.

Our kids played together and Sharon and Lori became very best friends, for the most part. 

Lori was headstrong. But Sharon was head stronger. Lori was tough, but Sharon was tougher.

And Denise was peacemaker.We went to yardsales. We went shopping. We went to parks. Lori in her carseat, and Sharon and Denise in thier booster seats.  

Through it all they grew up more like sisters then friends. 

When they moved to Virginia, we all mourned, but two years later we followed and ended up right in the same town. 

Things changed When Sharon died, Lori remained in our lives and friends to the kids but things changed for all. 

The teen years hit, All the kids went through tough times some harder then others, but all came out on the other side stronger and the kind of kids you are proud of. 

Lori had the hardest time. I remember praying for her and her mom to survive the hard times. 

We drifted apart for a minute, but not far enough so we weren't in touch. We lived in a tiny town.

I remember a friend telling somethings and crying for both of them but unable to do anything but pray.

Teen years are hard for teens, anyway without extras getting involved. 

Two other friends of Denise's are on the board and friends of Eric's, we keep in touch, but the girls are special. 

It was a privilege to sit and watch their teen years. I was very involved in the the teen group at church and got to know them all . But mostly they were at our house a lot. 

Zandria's family would come over on Wednesday's and spend the afternoon, we alternated who cooked dinner. I stole a few of her mom's recipes, I don't know if any of mine were good enough to steal. :)

I prepare them to this very day.

Zandrias mom and i\I share a birthday, and her younger sister Angela and Sharon also shared a birthday. So we felt our families were irrevocably intertwined. and they were for years. 

Denise and Zandria remain close friends and I count this very versatile and energetic young lady in my group of friends as well. She is an anytime friend. And an amazing grownup, as she was a child.

Jeannie was special. As well. Being the oldest sister of a large family, she grew up with such special parents who knew what it was like to be in her place.  Jeannie learned her  wonderful self confidence and perserverence from her mom I am sure, her mom is a special lady and a strong Christian and apparently right on with the BB gun. 

When your kids friends are playing with your kids, you never think about what they will be when they grow up. All of these girls I felt were like my own children. I cried for them, kept them on my prayerlist for years and am so proud of what they have become and what they give tot he world. 

Children don't remain children, they grow up and become adults. 

Lori is my miracle child. She hs overcome the most and made me the proudest. 

She did it on her own and deserves to stand proud. Being headstrong is a good thing.

She had so many childhood friends die in their teen years, yet she went on. 

I think about what would have been different if Sharon had lived, then I realized that God had a plan for all the girls no matter what. He had His hand on them 

What a wonderful new generation He has raised.

Once upon a time..Wordless Thursday. almost..

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Natasha, who lived in a world totally her own called Natashaland. Because Natasha, like another baby I know  named Emma on another site, lives  life in her own way is not often fazed by stuff, like a charging billy goat at the petting zoo.

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Natasha and her mom, Natasha is 8 weeks old. They are at a place called Peaks of Otter in Virginia. Even at 8 weeks, Tasha didn't like staying home she wanted to be on the go.

Natasha  is three months old. And as you can see she is highly protesting being in her crib. She has life to attend to. 

                                                                   She liked to swim:

And she liked to sunbathe, so we knew she's love the beach

 she was always in style

But before we knew it she was back in the water again....

She is quite the young lady now, But still has a lot to d and cannot be bothered with slow grownups.

Thanks for sharing Natasha

s life with us today. And be sure to visit Natashland again soon.

Rites of passage:The Potty training experience

Today is the day,I decided. The big day. The important day, it comes but once in a lifetime for a person. Today I will start it and Natasha will be on her way to independence. she will accomplish much! She will do great things, and maybe become president! Yes! This is the day we start her on a new life and new adventure!

Today I will start  potty training! Yes! and a new world will unfold! All right, this was probably a tad dramatic. Let me roll it back a bit.

It probably isn't the best day. We are going to Florida on Thursday for 4 days and that will interrupt the procedure, but everyone has to start somewhere.

Not that we haven't been trying, but Natasha has told us in no uncertain terms, going potty simply is not for her. yet, today we had a change of heart, I was on my computer busily twittering something I do every morning, when Tasha came up to me and gave me a hug. I asked her if she wanted cereal and she replied Yes, but she really wanted to go potty first and then eat her cereal. 

So, after about 2 seconds of shock, I flew from my computer, feet b

barely touching the hard wood floors and set up her potty, removed new pair of Christmas jeans, that had fancy new belt, removed pull ups and sat her gently in the seat of seat. 

I sat on the side of the tub, and talked to her and talked to her, and played finger games for 20 minutes. I turned the water on.(worked for her mom) and Sang songs. For 5 minutes and 15 seconds. She had a ball.

 I finally, decided that she didn't really need to go she just thought she did and that was a good start. I took her off and put her pull up back in place.

When she promptly took care of business.

I don't know whose timing was off,hers or mine, but I just sighed. Potty training can be a long process or short. 

I remember her Mother, Denise walked up to me and said Tammy goes potty, I want to to..and she did. Never looked back. 

Her uncle was a little more of a battle. He just didn't want to, but in the long run he acquiescence, I guess he discovered it was easier then watching Mommy cry. My youngest daughter was ill. She  was suffering from heart disease that would later claim her life. I was always softer on her. I couldn't bring myself to force her, so she just did it herself. One day I found her sitting on the potty like Eric and Denise. Mission accomplished. Who says peer pressure is a bad thing?

we will accomplish the training thing, It might take a minute. But more frightening then that to me, is the next project.

Yes, you guessed it. The Sippy Cup. Second only to the Bo Bo or pacifier, what just has to go. My daughter like any mother is slow in instituting these rites of passage. It takes her baby from babyhood, to childhood. getting her closer to that dreaded age, teenager and of course leaving home. 

Don't we all want them to stay at that age. I have sketches of memories, that make me smile when they com out of the blue. 

 My baby, my Sharon waking her up in the morning and her saying to me, "let me sleep just a little minute" and lying back down. How long is a little  minute? Didn't matter she got her wish.  Denise being the peacemaker between her older brother and younger sister. "it's a tough job, mom" She said once. 

And Eric, the only boy therefore he should be the boss, right? So he thought then and sometimes still thinks. His sisters put him in his place.  "Girls!" He said more then once.

Rites of passage from infant to toddler to child to teen to married and gone.  We pass through this time and it hardly seems to us we have.I think someone stole that time from us, because wasn't it just yesterday I was training Denise? not her daughter? Wasn't it yesterday, Sharon was climbing in my lap with her Teddy Bear wanting a hug? And wasn't it yesterday, Eric tried to blow up the house because he didn't know throwing lighter fluid was very flammable when you throw it on hot coals in the Weber?

Savor the rites of passage. time flies, life changes and in a moment we are training our grand kids instead of our kids. 

So, as I always say, Life goes on.

Parenthood revisited or accepting your kids on their terms

My son spent a good portion of his life going to a good Christian college, and being a permanent student. We thought, for a minute, he would still be in college when he was 40. I remember many days worrying about how we would pay his tuition 20 years in the future.
My daughter was the same. She has enough college credits for several AA degrees, just not enough of any for a BA degree. But unlike my son who didn't ever choose a major, She chose several. She was a writer, a teacher, a nurse, a journalist, and several others that escape my memory just now.
I remember spending many many days worrying about rather or not they would be successful in my terms. You know college degree, professionals. That kind of stuff.
My daughter tried the call center stuff, working in a office even retail none of it suited her. I realized since we moved to Charleston and she has gotten a job waitressing at Denny's that she is very happy in her job. She was a waitress for years at Golden Corral. We always thought it was a temporary position. But guess what? It wasn't.
That is hard for me to think, who can be happy as a waitress?
Well apparently she can, and she makes excellent money and most importantly she comes home feeling she has done well.
My son on the other hand, is an entrepreneur. His lively hood now, is bar tending at one of Charleston's More upscale restaurants called Reval , http://www.ravalwinebar.com/ It specializes in wine tasting, Spanish wines and other exotic drinks. Hard to accept at first, as a Christian.
But the truth is my son is a wonderful Christian, and what better place to witness? His careers have ranged from salesman, manager of a health food store, Wendy's (at 16) and quite a few more I don't remember.
The reality is they are happy and what is more important? The future I would have for them is not what they would have for themselves. Both careers are far more normal and everyday then I had planned. At 3 months of age I had my son General of the us Navy on the way to being president and my daughter of course was going to be head of a great big corporation.
My son on the side has many little Internet companies going, He always on hand to help a friend, and he continues to learn by Reading, exploring, taking classes and trying new things all the time. he has been in countless movies and commercials on the local level.
My daughter is a wonderful mother, she loves people, a good listener, a person friends turn to in need. She also reads and continues to grow in many ways.
So I didn't get what I wanted. But I got better. Because who could ask for more for their children then for them to be happy, healthy and satisfied with their lives?
I guess we all have lessons to learn as parents and one is this. What is good for us, is usually not good for them. And what a learning experience for both of us.