Going on: Dealing with the death of a child

M'Lynn: [crying] I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

[screaming]

M'Lynn: I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he *ever* know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand!

[in a firm tone]

M'Lynn: No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!

 M'lynn *Sally Field) Steel magnolias

My favorite speech from Steel Magnolias is the speech M' Lynn gives at her daughters funeral . Someone says to her, "she is in a better place" and M'Lynn goes off. She says what every single parent says who has lost a child: We do not care, we want out child here.Yes, we are selfish.


It's dreary and rainy in Charleston today. The temps according to my trusty Weather Bug (which keeps chirping at me) is an annoying 66 degrees. That of course means thunderstorms later this afternoon, making The day a little less dreary. Face it,  scary as they are, there is nothing dreary about a thunderstorm.

Luckily Natasha has never been afraid of thunder and lightening. Tasha has never been afraid of anything. She has flown across the room, flying from bed to bed giving her mother and I symptoms of  a major heart attack, also scaling stairs like they were level when she was one. In one way I am proud of her, in another I keep expecting the broken legs and arms that come with such an adventurous child. How does one keep them safe?

When my baby died, it wasn't dark and dreary. It was bright and sunny. The day had been like any other. The doctors had said she was ready to go back to Normal after her surgery.

She had fought with her brother. Whispered secrets with her sister. I re

member most, she called her best friend Stephanie and they laughed about Stephanie's first day of school, new friends they would make and to meet at church on Wednesday. 

Then went into the girls bathroom to check on a tooth that was coming out, and as I walked her upstairs Promised her it would come out soon and the tooth fairy would be here.

She stopped, turned and looked at me and called me. Then fell in my arms. I knew she was gone.

I remember confusion from the other kids, calling 911. I couldn't get through, my son begging me to let him do it. "I can do it mom, really!" he kept pleading. I was too afraid he wouldn't know what to say. A guilt I still live with. The ambulance. The Hospital. Friends. The Pastor sitting there, when they told me what I already knew. My Sharon was gone. 

She has been on my mind so much lately, I don't know if it is proper to blog about this sort of 

thing. But I want to talk about how I felt and still do. I look at my Tasha and so desperately want to keep her safe from harm, but I can't.  And I know this. 

The Surgery was over, she was supposed to be better! Her life after spending 11 years of being sick was going to change. She was going to run and play with the other kids, she had never been able to before. We spent all day Sunday with her sister and her friend Stephanie shopping for Jeans for her because she was supposed to gain weight and be able to wear them now. She was 60 pounds at 11 years old. Life for her was just beginning. But it ended.

I am so Angry. Still I am angry.That this child was called home. I know God knows best. I know she is in a better place. By the way, when you are dealing with a grief stricken person NEVER say those things. they are not comforting when all you want is that person to be here in this place. We are a selfish people when it comes to our loved ones. All we can think of is, we will never hold this child, this man, this women again.

I still ache today to talk to her, to have her climb in my lap, to have her fight with her brother.

I'm the little  sister she would say, I am supposed to be annoying. Eric was not amused. 

I am about to lose my Tasha in a few months, although not in the same way. Her mother is returning to school and moving far away. Part of the starting over process for her was to be able to finish school and get a career. 

Although I feel my heart breaking, I must let go she must do what is best. 

But loss is not something easy to take. My heart still has a huge piece left out of it, one that will never be replaced until I go home.

In the year that followed Sharon's death, my mother and father died in different states from each other, one of cancer one was murdered. My brother died of a stroke and my other brothers two boys were killed in a gun fight in Rockford, Ill  city of death for kids. That was not a year to relive. Still I keep coming back to keeping them safe, where I started. 

I can't keep Tasha safe. I can't even keep her mom safe, although her mom is old enough to take care of herself. But the feeling we want of making sure our little ones never get hurt, never feel pain, never ever having to go anywhere with out us, How do we cope?

With God's help we cope.. Natasha has shut herself in her favorite cabinet under the sink. She is going to "work" she says. She just happens to "work" at Denny's where her mom works. She "shops" at Wal Mart where her Nanny works. All people who she trust to keep her safe.

No matter  what we will do our best. God already has plans and knows the future. Sharon was "safe" walking up the stairs. My Nephew's were watching television in there living room. So supposedly they were "safe" 

The world is a dangerous. It has always been. I remember scaring my grandmother as I used the porch railing for gymnastics. I remember climbing on the roof and jumping off at 10. My son, by the way did the same thing. We do our best. God must do the rest We supply the faith and prayers. 

The sun is making a temporary appearance, peeking out from behind a cloud like it is playing hide and seek.

I see squirrels, which means Natasha will be running after them soon. Poor squirrels, no peace at all. She is coming out of the cabinet and heading for the back door. I hear her laughter as she sees the squirrels. She calls me, "Mom" the squirrels, the squirrels! and runs out the door. But wait. Do I just hear one child's laughter? No I think in the balmy Charleston day, with the sun going back behind a cloud, for a minute I heard more then one child's laughter. I think I heard the laughter of the many  children who are now truly safe. With our Father. And mixed in with that laughter is Sharon's. Watching out for her niece, letting me know she is safe., and yes mom Now I can run and play with the other kids. 

I love you Sharon, Please be happy. I will see you soon. 

repost from 2009

Birds, Storms and a Charleston Afternoon.

Yesterday, a giant storm came out of nowhere. One minute it was calm without a breeze, then suddenly the sky was lit up with lightening as wind, not a breeze, wind whipped across the lake. The tranquil lake now had waves, it was as if we were transported from sitting in our living room to  ocean side.

We watched as the water rose up and down going from side to side in waves,  trees on the side of the lake bent to meet the waves as if the welcoming the water to the shore.

Denise tapped me on the should and pointed to a bird. The bird was trying to make it to the dock, flying against the wind. He made it a few inches, then was pushed back. At one point, he was thrust into the water, and fought vigorously to become airborne again. WE found ourselves rooting for the bird.

"Come on, you can make it," we whispered feeling pretty silly but still wanting the little guy to succeed.

He made it airborne flying painfully  to the dock. We had not noticed that about ten other birds were clustered at the edge of the dock watching their friend. Were they cheering him on in bird talk?
  It certainly seemed as if they were, because they welcomed him with open uh, wings and ushered him onto the safety of our dock.

The wind and rain continued. Evey once in a while a test bird was sent out to see if he could get the heroic journey across the lake. Each time he was pushed back. The birds would walk away with their heads down.

Denise and I spent a little time observing the birdsthey Huddled in small groups, casting furtive glances out to the water and to the sky. They kept trying they did not give up at all.

One bird only made it about two feet from the dock, landed in the water with a plop so loud we heard it.

The other birds watched him struggle for a moment then one took off and proceeded to help his friend. When he was steady, they both begun to fly back, but the friend who came out to help was hit by a gust of wind and down he went. He made it to the group, not without great difficulity however.
Denise and I cotinued to watch this drama for about two hours. 

Finally two of them took off in opposite directions, both made it so the rest, after deep consultation,

followed.

Now you are expecting a point, or summation to pull all of this together form a spiritual point.

There is not one.

It is a story for your own interpretation. I was amazed at the resilience of the birds.

How the little creatures fought for what they wanted, to get home. What a community they had.


So its just recollection of a Sunday afternoon in Charleston SC.I hope you enjoyed it.

Tiem Flies when you are having fun

May your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

This quote is from a blog I follow and I certainly suggest you hop over and read it. It is a wonderful treatise on making resolutions. and I like his take on it.  You should read 

Coffee with Marty anyway, The Author is insightful, funny and a delight to read. I believe he is an author or headed that way, if he isn't he should be. I'll bet his mother is quite proud. 

I have read a lot of blogs and articles about New years they all center about making resolutions

and I have decided I am not going to. Making decisions for tomorrow is hard enough with it being the whole year, so I just thought about what I would like to change Next year. 

I am going to get my book published if I can stop crying from the rewrites and cuts I am doing. 

I want to feel better so I am going to eat better. I won't promise you won't ever see me at  a  Chick filet having a milkshae just that it won't be as offten. 

I want to grow my business, that takes work and I am ready to do it. 

I want to volunteer more. 

And I want to grow my relationship with God, I want everyone to know everything I do is for him. That may not know that now, but they will next year.

I could say things such as, I want to smile more, be more friendly, etc, but that really isn't me and it just isn't going to happen. 

Memories: gauging time 

Charleston Fall, Yo Gabba GAbba..Random Sunday

Charleston woke up this morning in a haze. The first sign I have that fall is here, is not the changing leaves, or a chill in the air: although it is less warm, but the wonderful haze and mist that drifts over Charleston every morning, a little like what my mother used to call "angel tears" because it is a soft mist. Just obscuring your vision as you drive slightly, and making you turn on your wipers intermittently rather then all of the time.

The mist along with the wonderfully horrible smell of the Marsh, that waifs over Charleston along with the early morning smell of fish as the fishing boats unload their catch, all tell me welcome to fall in Charleston. Thats right Charleston smells. The entire city reeks of Marsh life and freshly caught fish. But if you eat in just one of our safood resturants, you get over the smell quickly.

I was thinking this morning how much of summer I actually missed. The truth is I don't know how I missed it I was here, but so wrapped up in working, always thinking I had tomorrow to do something, the summer slipped away and it is almost the middle of September.

You would think I would know better. me of all people who woke up one morning with two children instead of three should remember the fleeting value of time. Especially with the lives of our love ones.

So today is Sunday, I have for many Sundays been wanting to do so many thing. It is a shame to live in a city like Chuck Town and not enjoy it, and tomorrow is promised to absolutely no one.

remember that.

But I am not going to be all serious, this is a Non blogging day and I know everyone is at church and with family, well most everyone is. I'm not, not that I am playing hooky today,..oh OK, yes I am playing hooky. Denise is working a double shift because her Denny's is having the honor of hostin the Rev. Jesse Jackson in a publicity stunt. I won't go there and how I feel about a man who is supposed to be a man of God using a restaurant to raise Money for...well, never mind.

So Today, I am dedicating to Tasha. The grownups in Tasha's life love her to death but so much so, we often get to busy providing for her and making sure she is safe and happy, we forget to spend time with Tasha just listening to her.

Tasha has a lot to say, and has no problems saying it. She told her mom yesterday she wanted to go to the petting zoo, it had been a long time since she had been there. she told me her mom was going to see a friend and I had to take care of her. Period. I guess there are no choices in Tasha's life. It is still black and white no shades of gray.

But this morning Tasha told me about Tudi on Yo Gabba Gabba, Now I am not a fan of Yo Gabba Gabba I think it is one of the strangest shows on TV, but kids are like sponges and absorbed.

Tasha has had a problem with bugs. She hates flies, she hated ladybugs. She was bitten by fireants so all ants are bad.

But, as was explained to me today, Tudi didn't like bugs. She was scared and didn't want to pick them up. and Tudi was crying. Tasha really related to this. So, the Yo Gabba Gabba crew of robots, carefully explained how bugs were good for the earth (no, I don't understand this since they are supposed to live in outer space) but any way, Tasha told me that bugs were our friends and because Tudi wasn't afraid anymore, she wont beeither. So we met a fly, and all she said was Hi fly instead of Shoo Fly go away from me, which I taught her to say.

I sat and listen to this whole saga of Tudi and bugs, including Tasha's rendition of "Don't be afraid" a song that resonates in my head for hours after I hear it: and I became thoughtful.

Children pick up so much, I always thought Tasha would outgrow the fear of bugs, if we were just patient,but Tudi cured her. We really do have to pay attention to what our kids watch, it effects them. So,my campaign to kill yo Gabba Gabba is on hold because he aparently does good in an annyoying way, and thank Tudi for her fear of Flies.

Happy Sunday All, and I shall stop Rambling...

Angel

The Picture is "the end of anothr day and the beauty that surrounds us"

Painter is Katherine M. Schneider

Waking up - Random Friday

Yesterday, Thursday I was awaken by the piter patter of little footsteps running down the hall, I turned over faced the wall and hoped they would continue, but they didn't. They, as usual made  sharp left and dashed into my room at top speed, upon entering made a beeline for my bed and I found myself being summarily attacked by a three yard old and her sippy cup. 

My mornings often start this way, but sometimes they start with a call from the other room, wanting me to get up and come climb into bed with her.

Either way, I lose. Or do I? 

Somehow, I think,  should I go back to an old fashioned cell phone waking me up it would be quite dull. 

Life is made up of a series of events that make our days, weeks, years, what they are. 

I am thinking of the changes in my life by the early morning ritual of waking up.

Years ago,I was awaken by two girls giggling in their room, and a young man who got them up and helped them make their own breakfast. I could hear them fussing, and Sharon's every day no every hour plaintive voice, "Eric, No" for whatever reason. It started at breakfast and went on all day. Eric, no don't touch this, Don't look at me, leave that alone, Mom Eric is bugging me. 

Sibling rivalry? In my house it was Eric and Sharon rivalry.

Years after that, they got up made breakfast and didn't need me at all. Got their school books stat at the dining room table waiting for me to start school. 

Still for a minute heard the Eric, Nos until during this period they were silenced forever.

Then I turned around, and I was alone. They were in colleges or their own apartments,

and I found myself in a 2500 5 bedroom house alone. 

So, the alarm clock tried to wake me, but mostly I awaken myself. Breakfast was yogurt if anything, then off to work I went. Fed my Golden retriever "Beau"  This is my independent period. 

A few years after  the house was too big I found myself in a townhouse, and with a cellphone. 

The shrill of the cell phone was different from the alarm clock, I still beat it with my inner clock. 

My daughter lived up the rode with her new husband, my ex lived across the street and my son was in Charleston with the person who was to become his wife in a few years. Another era begins. 

The cell phone remains the means of waking up until two years ago and I moved to Florida,

Then a 18 month old had to check on me each morning to make sure I was still there.  Most morning I was up before she was, and went to work, but the mornings I was there she knew and had to make sure I was awake. 

so now, the 18 month old is three and still makes sure she is the one to wake Nanny up. 

We have a deal, her and I, she can't get up until the sun is up. Thats a hard deal to keep, she has so much life in her. 

But I am awaken by the sound of children or child again. 

It would seem I have gone in a circle, here I am once again with a child being the focus of the house. There are not three but most days, their might a well be she has the energy of all three of my kids who were mellow. 

The cycle of our lives are steady, and I think the world goes in the same cycle. Denise and I were shopping at the good will today and I pulled out a skirt I would swear, (except I don't) was the same skirt I brought back in 1989, same color, same style. I know I have heard before the clothes they wore in the 20's was the same clothes they wore in the 60's. So maybe the cycle does continue. 

Hope not though, that skirt was ugly in 1989 and it was still  ugly in 2009. Some parts of the cycle can't change. 

But some can', because children will always be here and the joy of waking up to a child excitement at facing another day is priceless. What is mundane to us, is still fresh and exciting to us and that is what makes the cycle worth it. 

So no I don't lose, the cycle just becomes richer as I wake up in the morning to the sound of new life, time enough for my cell phone to wake me up again. 

Random Sunday

It's Sunday Morning in Charleston, The sun is as confused as I am some days. It can't decided if it is coming out or staying in. Everytime I think it has made up it's mind it goes behind a cloud and peeks out at me, laughing.  I need it to come out, I am short on the vitamin C and at one point I heard that the sun's rays cheer you up. That, the experts say, is why you always feel cheerful on a sunny day as opposed to feeling cheerful on a rainy day.

Me? I have to  always be difficult, I have the audacity to feel cheerful on both days. Shame on me. 

This is my first spring in Charleston. The air is clean after yesterdays rain, it was a magnificent  storm in old world terms. Wind. Rain. thunder. I could in my minds eyes see the ships off Sullivans island tossing in the waves. The kind of rain God uses to clean the air and start us over again. This morning you can feel the crispness in the air. My computer tells me the temp outside my door is 67 degrees,   Natasha  and I lay in her room this morning listening to the birds talking to each other, Tasha wondered about the babies were they warm enough? Where were they? The cat next door can't reach them? I assured hr that none of the about could happen, but not enough as she takes a run outside, forgetting to put on her clothes, after  her bath to see a blue jay sitting on the fence she glimpsed through the bathroom window she forget her clothes including her pull up to greet the birds. A situation I quickly corrected.

Headlines in the Charleston Post and Courier: Streaking Baby Stalks Blue Jay..film at 11

Just my luck, but luckily she limited her streaking experience to the back yard and hopefully since I am surrounded by retired folks and college kids, they were all either getting ready for church or sleeping it off from last night. So I am safe. I hope. If the county comes by I'll let you know. 

Charleston has more azaleas then any place I have ever seen, almost every yard I have seen has azaleas in them. Not to mention flower boxes, flower gardens at the old mansions and all schools, business and gas stations. My yard has it share, but I say something and smelled something this morning for the first time. When I was picking up my streaking baby, I noticed purple flower petals on my back steps, after depositing Tasha in the kitchen and putting on a diaper as  we are out of pull ups, I looked outside and saw...in the yard behind us...the most beautiful Lilac tree, yes tree not bush. The lilacs hung like grapes from the branches full and more importantly, fragrent. You could smell them. How long has it been really since you could really smell the flowers? It seems scents have gotten lost somewhere.  But these I could smell and a distance away. No wonder the birds were singing. 

Charleston. 

Charleston is an city in itself, as I look out my window at the wonder that is this city, and think about God's grace to us that we are even here. Not more then 6 months ago was a very different picture. One of us was in an abusive relationship trying to get to safety, one of us found themselves homeless and one of us was trying to hold everyone togther. 

Different world today. Everyone is on their feet, and standing. 

Thanks to God. 

I am not one to preach, and though everyone who reads my blog knows I am a card carrying born again Christian, I am not one to hammer it in. I do a lot of praying to myself and God.

The fact is that is not what this blog is. It is a testimony what He has done in our lives, and He has been great. 

We always have to end up explaining what we are when we say we are Christians. the first thing anyone says to me is Oh My Gosh! Jerry Falwell! Bigot! small minded. Nope. None of the above.

Well  I am not.  I follow a Man. I don't follow a church doctrine. I follow His word. I follow what HE tells me is right. 

I don't believe you can show Gods love with Hatred. I don't believe I can win hearts by being judgemental. 

He says He wants no one to perish. He gives us free will to make our own decisions. 

I am not going to harp on you about yours, (ask me my opinion and you get it so do it at your own risk, but it will be I promise Biblical) but push? No.

I have a lot of Non Christians who read my blog. they know what choices they have made. I am not out to change them or win them but simply let you know all of us aren't bad. Love of God is our primary focus. And yes, Jesus died for you to, it is your choice to do what you want bout that.  I'm praying

Now I promised no preaching and no preaching it is. 

It is now 72 in Charleston, SC I am going out to do yard work (yes, on Sunday it has to be done)

The sun has made up its mind to stay out and smile on us today. 

Tasha need to get out of the house and get some excerise and fresh air.(in her clothes this time) 

She just sat down next to me and said :" I'm Bored." Bored? at three?

nannhy, I need food. I neeeeed Pancakes. 

hmmm not a bad idea.

Pancakes it is.

Lights, Action,, Reality

My quiet afternoon was split wide open by sirens, and helicopters, At the same time, my sense of safety was shattered. 

It seems the Charleston county sheriffs department was doing a courtesy call for the North Charleston Police by serving a warrant.

The reciever was not really pleased about the whole thing, told the Officer so, then shot him in the ankle to make sure he understood his point. 

the officer understood and returned fire. Several Times. He is  in MUSC,I hope recovering. That part of the news is not released as yet. His partner, however decided this would be a good time to take a walk in the neighborhood, went poof! out the backdoor. Now me, not being of a criminal mind, Me I think this was incredibly not smart with dozens of police cars, ambulances, rescues squads streaming towards your house. But understand that is just me. 

Apparently the police thought so to, because hey took off after him and even called I the helicopter to search for him. His stroll was cut considerably short and he will spend this afternoon at least in a very different place. The neighborhood quieted down, but the police are

still at the house,probably searching and doing whatever else it is police do after such an incident. 

The officer will be fine. I don't know bout the perpetrator. 

But I hope he will be OK as well.

I am telling this in a kind of tongue and cheek writing but the fact is, as it was occurring We were quite nervous. I live in a very quiet neighborhood. Safe for kids, and all.

I was shocked and surprised something like this could happen so quickly. In MY neighborhood>

Yes, In my neighborhood. Why not? 

There are no safe neighborhoods anymore. Are you safe.

Does your child have detectors at his school?

What happened to nice quiet neighborhoods? they are gone forever. 

More so then ever before I realize how the world is invading our personal space. I always thought things like this only happen in "other" neighborhoods. ghettos, bad areas where drugs are sold on a regular basis.  

No such other neighborhood anymore. It might just be next door. 

I wasn't frightened for me, I kept thinking that to protect Tasha I would do this and that. Tasha quietly sat next to me and played with her computer while Nanny fretted. 

I calmed down finally, and prayed for all involved and for me and my family. 

We are so sheltered, this was in retrospect a minor incident in the realm of police business but to me it was a major awakening. 

It was a realization that my world was not safe. The Bible tells me to be of the world not in it. I have tried always to follow that. Now I pray for the Lord to make me aware of the goings on around me. For me to be aware that things do occur and mostly to pray for those where this is not an isolated incident but an everyday occurrence.  

I watch Tasha as she runs out to play in the yard now and I pray that the kids who cannot do this, be safe.

And you, be safe to.

Of Squirrels, Oranges and joy in life

I have a special creature in my house, one whom is pretty special. She looks at life from quite a different perspective then I do. she thinks looking out the window is fun, Dora the explorer is the best thing since sliced bread, all squirrels are cute. She gets excited about Christmas lights, Barney, and helping her Nanny do Laundry.

If she could play in the back yard all day, she would but going to the park is nice to. She is shy around people, until they leave then she is quick to say "Bye Bye" and then start talking. She loves the library, Wal Mart, and Pancakes. She is the one person who makes my heart skip a beat theses days and the reason starting over is so important.

She can be quite impish as well. She will tell me to"watch TV" which is a code for "don't watch me" meaning she is into something she knows better. So today she said.

"Nanny, go to sleep." With the guilty look on her face, I knew we were in for a biggie.

I told her i didn't want to sleep just yet.

"Nanny, lie down!" I was told., Which I did for a minute, then when she thought she was safe, I sneaked out into the kitchen where I found my little darlin' valiantly trying to peel an orange. She had gripped it in her teeth while trying to figure out just how we made the peel go away.

Hm mm.

I need food," she stated flatly to me, trying to hide the orange.

You can't argue with a 2.9 year old. So I peeled the orange for her. It could have been worse. She could have found her mothers stash of oatmeal cookies and had a cookie feast.

She is very self reliant. After the orange, she was taking no chances. She brought me her "cuppy" and her Apple juice to make sure I didn't slip again.

The she informed me she was going to take a little rest, and was out like a light for the next two hours.

When my world gets cluttered, and i start to not appreciate little things, like a orange or going to Wal-Mart. A couple of minutes with my granddaughter will usually put things in perspective.

She reminds me just how insignificant some things are. The squirrels drive me nuts, have you noticed how many there are?

Tasha scolds them for sitting on her porch or running on the roof of "her" house. Then she talks to them like they are old friends. After all, squirrels have feelings to.

I am going to spend the day tomorrow, trying to see things through the eyes of a two year old. I want to take joy in looking out the window. I want an orange to be so important to me, I trick my Nanny into getting it. Mostly I want joy in just living, without the worry. See, She knows she is loved. Her Nanny will forgiver her anything. And there is always unconditional forgiveness, even in stealing an orange.

Oh just to get back to enjoying and Orange without worrying about how much it costs. To look out the window and not wonder or worry about anything. Just to be for a minute.

Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?

I have one key to my car, well my daughters car. Forget the trunk key, it has long disappeared. When we moved here from Florida we had to enter the truck through the back seat. It was a challenge but we did it, vowing all the time to get a new key for the trunk and a new ignition key as soon as we got to Charleston. That was almost three months ago.



Today I was sitting blithely at the computer, unaware disaster was about to strike, when my Granddaughter comes up to me and say "Nanny I dropped Mama's keys"


Absently, because I was busily looking up something I mumbled something like, "Tasha you know not to bother Mom's keys" then went back to my computer. Big mistake.


A few hours later, my daughter calls me to come and pick her up from work, and........I can't find he keys.


What did Tasha say? Oh, yes she had dropped them. But where?


Tasha is 2 yrs 8 months old, smarter then a whip but even she had no idea what I was talking about three hours earlier. How she could tell me in an excited voice was. Yes I had them. Where? hmmmmmm


So I searched, my daughter got a friend from work to bring her home. She asked the same questions. She got the same answers.

Still she looked, I looked, and Tasha happily played.

No Keys.

So, because I had to get to work we called Joe the Locksmith. Not to be confused with Joe the plumber because he makes a lot more money.

150 dollars and three hours later, I had a new key, was 5 hours late to work , and Tasha was still insisting she had "dropped" the key. But Where?

This morning we still don't know even though we have looked have the night.

There is a fifth dimension inside every ones house that things disappear to,

For instance, the two socks that go in and only one sock returns? there is a sock room in that fifth dimension. The necklace you just know you put on your dresser, and now it's gone. To the Jewelry room. Sometimes I guess they are not happy and return, other times you really don't see them again.

It would be interesting to find this dimension, think of all the treasures you would find there?

I actually think the entry way is through the dryer but there might be others!

In the meantime, I will wait for my keys to return. Then I will finally have a second set.

I am sure they are going to show up somewhere in plain sight wherever Tasha "dropped" them.